ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
