Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
