there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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