Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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