why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
