We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
