Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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