Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
