Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
