Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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