they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
