Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
