her vagine was all disorganized.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
