we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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