who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
