i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
