i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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