Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
