You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How drunk are you?
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