There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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