Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
