She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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