Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
one two three fourrrrnication!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't deserve a penis
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Randomize
