He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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