Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
