just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
