i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize