sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
