guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize