I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Let's get the cat blown out
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize