Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
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She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
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The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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