I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
