you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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