ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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