We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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