She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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