He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
