is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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