the day after is always just damage control
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
