my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
