her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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