I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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