some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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