U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
