Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize