shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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