Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
