3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
