The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
