I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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