I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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