I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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