For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
