How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
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There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
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The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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