just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
