Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
