You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
