They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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