I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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