ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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