There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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