is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize